I didn't call an exterminator. The bugs yet live. Their numbers, however, do seem significantly reduced. I've learned that most problems heal more quickly and completely with minimal intervention. Or maybe I don't really give a damn.
Today was a trip to the landfill. Most of it was four months worth of ordinary rubbish. I don't have a weekly garbage collection; we never did, having never generated that much trash. But a few items broke the heart. Two pairs of Rich's old boots, and worn-out socks. Plus two used-up mops, both of which he bought. From now on, anything leaving the house or garage will be harder. The easy stuff is gone.
That's what this grieving game feels like, too. For five years, life was focused on death and dying. Now it's back to life, and this is the hard part. I'm not sure how this problem will heal, not anymore. And each day I have to remind myself that I still give a damn.
Candace
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This summer I got bugs for the first time; they said it was the heat. So maybe that is why yours have calmed down. I know the feelings you describe..even over 3o yrs after my sister passed at 15 I will be reminded of things like a movie we saw together or a musician she liked. And I am not surrounded by her things (there was a fire anyway) and it must be so much harder living in the same place etc. But even still- it will always be there, the void...and at least you got a good amount of time together while he was healthy and while he was not. He knew you were 1000% there for him and who could ask for anything more. It is a noble and wonderful gift that too many dont receive. Hope I see you soon.
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